Quick summary: The rising costs of attending weddings in the early thirties have created a significant financial burden for single guests, who often incur debts or sacrifice personal goals to meet social expectations. This single social tax, which sees solo attendees pay up to £12,000 more annually than couples for basic living expenses, can lead to severe emotional strain and feelings of guilt when declining invitations. Promoting a public policy shift towards the equal recognition of non traditional milestones and personal achievements is essential for protecting the financial well being and mental health of an increasingly independent workforce.
The late twenties and early thirties have become one of the most expensive stages of life for many young Brits as wedding invitations begin to arrive more frequently. With the average age of marriage in England and Wales now in the early thirties, this period often brings a wave of celebrations that can create a significant financial burden, particularly for those attending alone.
Rising cost of weddings for singles
The average Brit spends £692 per wedding and more than £2,000 a year attending them, with costs rising to around £4,500 for younger adults. While couples can split accommodation, travel, and gift expenses, single attendees must shoulder the full cost themselves.
Research shows that 59% of single people spend £200 or more per event, while 34% have declined invitations due to cost.
A wider financial pressure known as the “single social tax,” adds to this strain. Thortful spoke to a single people are reported to pay up to £12,000 more per year than couples on essentials such as rent, bills, and food, largely because shared living costs cannot be divided. Solo travellers can also face up to 87% higher holiday prices compared with those sharing accommodation.
The hidden cost of social expectations
Charity Swales, 28, from Leeds, described how attending weddings and related events quickly becomes expensive. “I estimate I’ll spend at least £150–£200 per event. With accommodation, transport, spending money, and outfits, it can quickly add up. For example, I’ll likely purchase self-care products, get my hair done, maybe order a new outfit. Hen dos, especially, can be expensive when they have a fancy dress theme—things I’ll probably never wear again and will end up tucked away at the back of my drawer forever.”
She added that travel costs can be disproportionate. “My friend’s wedding in Devon, for instance, has train tickets that are almost as expensive as flying abroad, which makes attending a significant financial commitment.”
Swales explained that couples often benefit from shared expenses. “Splitting costs definitely helps to ease the burden if someone is having a financially heavy month. For a single person like me, it often means sacrificing other areas of life—missing out on meals with friends, postponing that new hoover, or skipping personal trips to see my favourite bands just to keep up with social obligations. The difference is really stark when you compare the flexibility couples have versus the single-person budget squeeze.”
Debt, guilt, and financial strain
The pressure of attending social events can lead to difficult financial decisions. 1 in 10 attendees (11%) have gone into debt to afford a hen or stag do.
Swales said declining invitations often brings emotional strain. “I suffer from major guilt when it comes to saying no. I don’t even get FOMO; I just feel like I’d be rude or missing out on someone’s ‘big day.’ Occasionally, I’ve put events on my credit card to pay off the next month, or I’ve cut back on other things like meals out or personal treats to make it work. Essentially, I’ve had to rearrange my life to accommodate these social expectations, which can feel exhausting.”
This also affects how she approaches future commitments. “It does make me pause and plan carefully before committing. Sometimes I consider whether it’s worth attending if the financial cost is too high, but there’s always a tension between wanting to celebrate friends and protecting my own financial well-being.”
Recognition of milestones
Swales also highlighted a perceived imbalance in how achievements are celebrated.
“I’m always down for a reason to celebrate my friends and family, but it does often feel like relationship milestones are prioritised over personal achievements. It’s unlikely you’d get someone a gift or go to great lengths for a new job, new home, or completing a marathon, but with weddings and hen or stag dos, there’s an expectation to put in time, money, and energy for this once-in-a-lifetime event.”
She added: “There’s this expectation to shell out for others’ milestones, but my personal achievements sometimes don’t get the same attention. Friends may miss out on my birthday, housewarming, or finishing a marathon because of their own financial or social limitations, and it can feel like my accomplishments are diminished by comparison.”
Swales pointed to milestones in single life that she believes deserve equal recognition. “Moving into my first solo flat, career promotions, getting my first pet, solo travelling, and building a stable, independent life are all milestones I’ve worked incredibly hard for. Yet they often don’t get the same fanfare as weddings or engagement parties. It’s not that they’re unimportant; they’re hugely meaningful, but society seems to value relational milestones over personal ones.”
A broader reflection
“Personally, I would love to get married someday for the romance, but I don’t see it as an essential measure of achievement, especially compared to independently building a life and personal confidence.”
In response to the growing conversation around life milestones, Thortful has created a range of cards designed to celebrate achievements beyond weddings and engagements, recognising solo milestones and everyday wins.