Author, psychotherapist and creative Kestral Gaian has built a remarkably diverse career through a simple habit: saying yes to opportunities driven by curiosity rather than fearlessness.
From performing in opera and at the Edinburgh Fringe to recording in the same studio as Amy Winehouse, embracing new experiences has opened doors to co-hosting BBC radio shows, observing brain surgery and meeting high-profile figures. Gaian’s latest young adult novel, The Boy From Elsewhere, published by Reconnecting Rainbows Press in February 2026, explores the same territory. Described as a gripping tale of parallel worlds, found family and the courage to step into the unknown, the book examines themes of identity, belonging and embracing uncertainty.
“It can feel somewhat ridiculous listing everything out,” Gaian says. “But most of it happened in the same way. I showed up, I stayed curious, and when an opportunity appeared, I said yes. Every experience is research for a book, a character, a scene, a play, a poem.”
Curiosity, not fearlessness
Gaian believes the idea of saying yes is often misunderstood. “It’s not about being fearless. The fear is always there. The difference is choosing curiosity over letting the fear make the decision.”
Many of Gaian’s most memorable experiences began through ordinary circumstances. During clinical mental health training, a placement on a neuro-recovery ward led to conversations with doctors about a patient’s surgical procedures. The discussion ended with an unexpected invitation to scrub in and observe brain surgery.
“They asked if I wanted to scrub in and observe the upcoming brain surgery,” Gaian recalls. “Needless to say, I had more questions before I said yes.”
“The trust involved in surgery is extraordinary. Someone is unconscious on a table and putting their entire well-being in the hands of strangers. That level of vulnerability really stayed with me.”
Other opportunities arrived just as unpredictably. Early in life, Gaian trained as a sailing instructor to help people with disabilities access watersports and volunteered to learn horse riding during a gap year simply because help was needed.
Saying yes and identity
On the connection between openness and self-discovery, Gaian is unequivocal. “Absolutely. It’s hard to be closed-minded if you’re always experiencing new things, and very easy to see anything different as ‘other’ if all you do is the same things all the time.”
Gaian traces this philosophy to a conscious shift during adolescence, shaped by growing up with repeated disappointments and failed promises. “I grew up with a compulsive liar who would frequently promise us things that would never happen, agree to take us places we’d never end up going. That led to a general feeling of ‘oh, it’ll never happen’ in response to everything in my life. I eventually got sick of thinking I’d never do anything, or make anything of myself, and figured the only way to get out of that was to say yes to things and actually follow through.”
Work with young people has reinforced the belief. “I’ve seen too many young people who, like me at that age, felt like there were all these barriers in the way of doing things. And the joy you see when people realise that a lot of those barriers don’t really exist is incredible.”
Preparation over recklessness
Gaian is clear that saying yes does not mean acting without thought. “When I say yes to something new, I go away and research it thoroughly, I read a lot. I want to understand and respect it. That preparation is what makes the experience possible.”
This is a distinction that resonates broadly. A Halfords poll of 2,000 adults found that 69% admit they play it safe in life, while 39% say they are determined to say yes more often. The average adult turns something down as often as twice a week. As a psychotherapist, Gaian understands the underlying cause. “A lot of people are worried about stepping outside their comfort zone or being seen to fail. But your comfort zone can expand if you let it.”
The Covid-19 pandemic also tested Gaian’s limits. Work in healthcare training during that period exposed them to emotionally overwhelming situations. “That period taught me that saying yes to everything without protecting your well-being isn’t sustainable. Learning what to say no to is part of the same journey.”
A life defined by intersecting adventures
The experiences Gaian has accumulated span an extraordinary range. Gaian has performed at music festivals and Pride events, co-hosted the BBC Six Music breakfast show with Phil Jupitus, and worked on cutting-edge technology at Microsoft. Further afield, Gaian floated a company on the stock market, built a university from scratch and visited NASA in Houston. Along the way, Gaian has given talks alongside figures such as Munroe Bergdorf and met Michelle Obama, actors Peter Capaldi and Tobie Donovan, and Boris Johnson through conference work and events. On a more personal note, Gaian has also fostered a son, opted for a kitten and trained as a psychotherapist.
“At some point it will probably make a good memoir. Even I sometimes forget the list, but my friends are happy to share anecdotes and remind me.”
All of it, Gaian says, feeds into the creative work. “A character, a setting, a moment in a story often comes from somewhere unexpected.”
It is never too late
The philosophy extends to the smallest of decisions. “Recently, I said yes to trying a butternut squash risotto. I didn’t used to like squash or risotto. But saying yes gave me a chance to test whether that was still the case. It turned out to be brilliant.”
“Sometimes it’s just about being curious enough to try. And knowing it’s never too late to start saying yes more often.”
Gaian’s conclusion is simple. “Saying yes is often just a way of choosing a bigger life. And that combats and counters so much of the ‘smallness’ that is such a problem in the world today.”